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I'm thinking of maybe just confronting her and telling her that she at least has to explain to me a little more about her history with this guy. I mean, at least stuff like how they met, does he have gf, what is his major, and especially has she ever been alone with him. I've already asked her this and she refused to give me a direct answer. I know it's risky and she might get really pissed off, but I feel that her evasiveness has given me the right to demand some more info.
It appears that neither of you have good conflict resolution skills anyway though. When there is something that bothers you about her, it is important not to address it in a critical way. Try to approach it in a supportive way -- I don't mean supportive of the behavior, supportive in terms of coming to a resolution. For instance, in the situation with her boss. It may very well be that she is seeking attention from him because there are unresolved issues between you and she and looking maybe for an out anyway. If in general the relationship was good, and I'd say, it should have been at least for you to become engaged, you open a conversation with her to say something like "I love you and respect our relationship and want to make sure we move forward in a positive way. Are there any things you and I need to address to make our relationship better? And, then let her talk. If she becomes angry, defensive or otherwise uncooperative. You end the conversation and tell her to take some time to think about the question and make a time to come back to discuss it calmly.
I also found out he had been sabotaging me getting together with a guy I've always liked.
If the opposite sex friend precedes the relationship -- meaning that friendship existed long before the romance -- I'm more open to it then a new friend.
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