I’m not sure why it makes me feel like terrible people to admit this: but maybe more than 50% of the time, I am totally not loving this Motherhood Thing. Am I the only one, here?
This is not to be mistaken with me not loving my child. Because I do. She is my everything, and I love her to smithereens – but it’s the other aspects of Motherhood that I could really do without: the negotiation on why she needs to eat her vegetables, the battle with changing her diaper and potty training. The two hours it takes to get out of the house when all I need to do is run to the store. Oh, I particularly love it when she tells me she wants to eat toast, so I make it, then she says she doesn’t want it, then she cries when I take it away. Really?
Obviously, it’s not her – it’s me. She is just being a regular two year old, and I was born with an insufficient amount of patience to have to coax her out of Ikea to go home for a nap. So, guilt starts to set in that maybe I’d rather not be with her today. Today, I’d rather work in the office. Today, I’m not going to be that super involved, super awesome gung-ho involved mom that I really want to be. Today is not that day.
Guilt, so so much guilt.
I guess the reason for this post is that I want to say to others that if you’ve ever felt this way, quietly – you’re not alone. I love my child all the time, but not always the motions of being a mother. I know the years go by fast, but people, I’m in today right now, and today, time is crawling by.
So mama, if you’re having that day today – take heart. You’re not a bad person, you’re not a bad mama. You’re human. You’re just like the rest of us.