Wow, it’s been almost a year since I wrote this post, about how difficult it was for me to make new friends after having Olive. I was totally, desperately seeking a Mom Friend; someone who understood how tired I was, why I was obsessed with milk intake and sleep schedules, and someone who would stand with me against the world of people-sans-kids. (Especially in restaurants, when my kid was being rowdy. Backup is always nice, then.)
In the past year, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet quite a few moms and their kids. While they are all pretty nice, I obviously wasn’t going to mesh with all of them. Everyone has different parenting philosophies, different priorities – and hey, sometimes, people just don’t click.
Somehow though, within my search, I was fortunate enough to find a few ladies who I absolutely adore. And luckily, I love their kids as well (and they, mine!). All of our kids are about the same age, and because of that, they all play really well together. Having them like each other only makes it easier for us moms to hang out, as well. We are able to discuss things like milestones, daycare searches, kid friendly recipes, or sleep problems. If I have a question, all I have to do is ask, and I’ll have answers from people who are in the same boat. Yes, you can talk to your husband (Hi Honey, You’re GREAT, yes you are.) but sometimes a female perspective really helps put your mind at ease.
This sense of camaraderie and support has proven to be essential for me to thrive as a mother. So often I find myself wallowing in a pool of anxiety and self doubt that I drive myself crazy; sharing these thoughts with likeminded women makes the burden easier to bear. It also really shows you that there is no perfect method of parenting – perfection is such a lofty goal – and you’re not the only one who feels lost, sometimes.
To all the new moms out there: try and foster your new friendships. Try to surround yourself with positive women who will encourage you to be confident in yourself. I hate to sound all guru-light-shiny, but that energy does transfer to your child. If you’re currently looking to meet new mom friends, my advice would be to put yourself out there. Until I looked, I never realized how many others felt as isolated as I did. Needing people isn’t a weakness!
Ok, go on out there. Maybe I’ll see you at the playground.
The cute picture above was found here.