Ever since I had Olive, I find myself…….in a constant state of frantic.
Honestly, I hadn’t really noticed it since I spend so much of my time a)alone with Olive or b)with other moms and their babies. But when I’m with my husband, or my childless friends or my parents, I realize that I sometimes get really annoyed because they aren’t moving quickly enough.
(I need to insert a disclaimer here that I LOVE ALL THE ABOVE SAID PEOPLE. A lot.)
My mother actually said something to me about this when she visited us a few months ago. She said that when I have a moment away from the baby, I’m still moving, and never sit down or stop – I’m still doing something. Anything. She also said to me that I walk so much faster now than I used to pre-child. My gait has become that of a speed walker, and she almost has to do a mini-canter to keep up with me.
I never used to be this way, just so you know. I was the Queen of Leisure. I couldn’t get out of the house slowly enough – but having Olive has changed that.
I’m always working within such short time frames. When Olive is awake, I’m battling the clock to get errands/playtime/mealtime done before her next scheduled nap. This length of time is about 3.5 hours at a go. And when she’s napping, I use this time to either feed myself, clean her/our messes, or prep for future meals. These naps are about 1.5 hours long, if i’m lucky. I’ve just gotten used to CRAMMING AS MUCH STUFF INTO THE HOUR as I can.
So needless to say, when you take about 30 minutes to get out of the house, dear husband, I get annoyed.
or when we loiter too long at the mall, dear childless friend, I get annoyed.
BAD TIME MANAGEMENT IS ANNOYING TO ME.
This time-control has even seeped into times I have a nanny to help me out. Twice a week, I have a kind lady help me with Olive so I can get some time alone/with my husband. However, if I don’t use this block of time “wisely” (and by wisely, I mean PACKED WITH CHILDLESS activities, minimizing commute time, waiting times, etc) I find myself again, annoyed.
I’m taking the saying “make every moment count” too literally.
I know I need to calm down. I know that I need to stop to smell the roses, or at least, NOTICE the roses, because if I don’t, my other relationships will suffer. When I’m at my worst, others probably find me equally as annoying as I find them.
In 2014, I hope to take the time to nurture all my other relationships on their time, and not only on mine. I want to learn how to be more flexible and not ruled by the clock. I know that as Olive grows older and goes from two naps a day, to one, to none, my day will open up, and this will be easier to achieve.