Rush, Rush


Ever since I had Olive, I find myself…….in a constant state of frantic.

Honestly, I hadn’t really noticed it since I spend so much of my time a)alone with Olive or b)with other moms and their babies. But when I’m with my husband, or my childless friends or my parents, I realize that I sometimes get really annoyed because they aren’t moving quickly enough.

(I need to insert a disclaimer here that I LOVE ALL THE ABOVE SAID PEOPLE. A lot.)

My mother actually said something to me about this when she visited us a few months ago. She said that when I have a moment away from the baby, I’m still moving, and never sit down or stop – I’m still doing something. Anything. She also said to me that I walk so much faster now than I used to pre-child. My gait has become that of a speed walker, and she almost has to do a mini-canter to keep up with me.

I never used to be this way, just so you know. I was the Queen of Leisure. I couldn’t get out of the house slowly enough – but having Olive has changed that.

I’m always working within such short time frames. When Olive is awake, I’m battling the clock to get errands/playtime/mealtime done before her next scheduled nap. This length of time is about 3.5 hours at a go. And when she’s napping, I use this time to either feed myself, clean her/our messes, or prep for future meals. These naps are about 1.5 hours long, if i’m lucky. I’ve just gotten used to CRAMMING AS MUCH STUFF INTO THE HOUR as I can.

So needless to say, when you take about 30 minutes to get out of the house, dear husband, I get annoyed.

or when we loiter too long at the mall, dear childless friend, I get annoyed.

BAD TIME MANAGEMENT IS ANNOYING TO ME.

This time-control has even seeped into times I have a nanny to help me out. Twice a week, I have a kind lady help me with Olive so I can get some time alone/with my husband. However, if I don’t use this block of time “wisely” (and by wisely, I mean PACKED WITH CHILDLESS activities, minimizing commute time, waiting times, etc) I find myself again, annoyed.

I’m taking the saying “make every moment count” too literally.

I know I need to calm down. I know that I need to stop to smell the roses, or at least, NOTICE the roses, because if I don’t, my other relationships will suffer. When I’m at my worst, others probably find me equally as annoying as I find them.

In 2014, I hope to take the time to nurture all my other relationships on their time, and not only on mine. I want to learn how to be more flexible and not ruled by the clock. I know that as Olive grows older and goes from two naps a day, to one, to none, my day will open up, and this will be easier to achieve.

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One thought on “Rush, Rush

  1. Eric Albee

    Haha, what a great picture! Perhaps you can move frantically and still enjoy everything? Some people are hard wired for moving quickly or slowly but they can still enjoy whatever happens during the time. Are you happy? It sounds like a lot of new responsibility! How old is Olive? Anyways, cheers to the new years!

    Eric Albee

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