It’s been an interesting few weeks.
Husband recently got accepted into a really competitive MBA program at work, so for the next two years, he’ll be working and taking classes simultaneously.
The obvious feelings I’ve had are that I’m so proud of him, and I am so excited for my family because this is such a huge opportunity for him to further himself in his career. **EXCLAMATION MARKS! CELEBRATION! JOY AND PRIDE!**
The feelings I’ve been ashamed to admit to are that I am annoyed that he will now be too busy to help me with Olive and around the house.
It’s such a shitty thing to say out loud. “Hey, great for you, but what about me?”
What a shit, shit, shit thing to think, Jody.
I think one of the things about being a SAHM that really wears me out is that there really are no “weekends”. The baby is always up at the buttcrack of dawn, the house is always a mess, and there are always dishes to be done. It doesn’t let up, there isn’t a break. When the husband is home during the weekends, I hate to admit it, but i relish the moments that he takes over caring for Olive for an hour or two. But now that he is in this MBA program, between the studying, the work, and the “him” time I know he needs…..I’m a little worried about the time for “US”: The time that he can help me out with the baby.
In my life, the role I’ve fallen into is the Stay At Home Mom: and she is supposed to be the good wife, mother, housekeeper, cook. This is my job, my contribution to this household and life of ours. My husband is the breadwinner, the protector, the provider….and he does this so well. I guess my question is….if he’s excelling so well in his area, why do I feel like I’m floundering in mine? Why am I resentful? Why am I annoyed?
I wish I was a big enough person to not complain about the day to day.