The Roles we Play

It’s been an interesting few weeks.

Husband recently got accepted into a really competitive MBA program at work, so for the next two years, he’ll be working and taking classes simultaneously. 

The obvious feelings I’ve had are that I’m so proud of him, and I am so excited for my family because this is such a huge opportunity for him to further himself in his career.  **EXCLAMATION MARKS! CELEBRATION! JOY AND PRIDE!**

The feelings I’ve been ashamed to admit to are that I am annoyed that he will now be too busy to help me with Olive and around the house.

It’s such a shitty thing to say out loud. “Hey, great for you, but what about me?”

What a shit, shit, shit thing to think, Jody.

I think one of the things about being a SAHM that really wears me out is that there really are no “weekends”. The baby is always up at the buttcrack of dawn, the house is always a mess, and there are always dishes to be done. It doesn’t let up, there isn’t a break. When the husband is home during the weekends, I hate to admit it, but i relish the moments that he takes over caring for Olive for an hour or two.  But now that he is in this MBA program, between the studying, the work, and the “him” time I know he needs…..I’m a little worried about the time for “US”: The time that he can help me out with the baby. 

In my life, the role I’ve fallen into is the Stay At Home Mom: and she is supposed to be the good wife, mother, housekeeper, cook. This is my job, my contribution to this household and life of ours. My husband is the breadwinner, the protector, the provider….and he does this so well. I guess my question is….if he’s excelling so well in his area, why do I feel like I’m floundering in mine? Why am I resentful? Why am I annoyed?

I wish I was a big enough person to not complain about the day to day. 


3 thoughts on “The Roles we Play

  1. Starr

    Can you tell by my comments that I’m catching up on my fave blogs now? :) have you ever seen that viral pic on FB – “It’s Friday! Oh wait, I’m a mom” Our roles are complex, whether you’re a SAHM or working mom, we’re ALWAYS on, and most times we feel guilty asking for time to ourselves, we feel guilty for wanting it, we just feel guilty. I say talk about it together, figure out some time for you. I know when I don’t talk about it, I bottle it up and am a total buzzkill. Also, really, don’t feel guilty for asking. Seriously. Keep in mind, while job and school are demanding (esp doing both – hubby and I got our MBAs a few years go, me full time, he juggling work and class) he gets to pee in peace! Drink his coffee in peace! Sometimes I feel like going to work on Monday is kind of like a mini vacation (before I realize I have a lot of work to do). Soooo, all I’m saying is, you deserve some of that, too. It does sound like he is a great partner and really supportive. Maybe even having a sitter come once a week for a few hours might give you some breathing space?

  2. chicachicababies

    It’s exhausting! That’s the hardest part – there’s no real break EVER, because even when the other parent is home, it’s not like you’re “off duty.”

    I’m very lucky that my partner is amazingly supportive of my “stay-at-home-ness” being about parenting and not cleaning/cooking/housewife-ing. We handle that as a team in evenings/weekends. It’s just too much for one person to do – and days where I clean/cook/etc., the kids don’t get much attention. But there’s still a cultural pressure to do it all.

    1. Jody

      I think the cultural pressure really gets to me! I feel extreme guilt when I feel overwhelmed and can’t do the cooking, the cleaning, the baby….I feel guilty for needing help!


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